Unsure what to title this one as I start off, you know when those little incidences happen & I don’t know about your family but as for ours we have a very quirky sense of humour both dry & very visual. Imagination is everything. Here goes.
Its midnight of course its dark & in our house its pitch black dark. we don’t have street lights or a lot of traffic passing with head lights gleaming (is that even a word)into our home. Its total darkness, like complete blackout especially if its cloudy or all the curtains are closed so not even the moonlight can light the way. Now you have the gist of how dark it is here. You can now imagine the silence other than the odd cricket or frog or night-bird its pretty quiet.
Not this night.
This night, not too long ago, I awoke to the sound of what I thought was water gushing from a tap in the kitchen, I lay still listening for a moment, trying to hurry my brain awake from a half sleep foggy haze, then I pounced out of bed imagining a burst pipe & water completely flooding the kitchen floor. Call the national guard we have a natural disaster immersing our kitchen…..
Now you need to remind yourself its dark & I mean dark, I am in pain most of the time with my feet, etc. so bouncing out of bed is not great & does not conjure up sounds of delicate ballerina like tip toeing. No its more like a majestic giraffe trying to ground itself after tripping over well…. nothing(add vertigo to top that off).
This is where having a narrow hallway comes in extremely handy, as you wont fall over, no way, now put that giraffe into a pin ball machine & hopefully by the time I’ve finished my great tripping giraffe dance I have pinged myself into balance & the pain in my feet has now moved to my hips, back, shoulders & elbows depending on what has taken the blow to steady myself the best, as I have so elegantly ricochet my way up the hallway.
I finally reach the dining room & its at this point that I think to myself how handy it would have been to grab my phone so I had some source of light….mmmm.
Patting the walls till I found a light switch, my eyes taking a moment to adjust, focus, as they are yet to stop floating around in a vertigo hazy roller coaster. The kitchen, the sink is not gushing or spraying water all over the place no nothing. IS IT NOTHING. I can still hear the funny gushing like sound, I get closer & closer to the sink & nothing.
Nothing but the bread board in the sink leaning up on the edge; wait…. its fully shaking quivering, slightly bouncing around the sink. Ohhhhh it must be a really big bug caught underneath flapping around frantically thinking its stuck(did it forget a light too).
Not knowing what was going to fly up at me & possibly send me into a screeching dancing now add ninja to the giraffe, I slowly & carefully with one finger lift the bread board up. Focus…. oh its the little battery-powered milk frothing stick. You know, they look like a pen with a little whisk on the end for when you want your milk in your coffee or hot chocolate a little frothy, it had fallen into the sink obviously pushing the on button, OOOOh is that all…wait….hang on a minute…. but how did it fall off the shelf into the sink?
Just as I pondered & wondered & questioned this very intriguing midnight dilemma that was before me, the curtain at the kitchen window above the sink moved.
Ok so that reaction was more like a startled horse, I nearly sat.
I tugged on the edge of the curtain, it moved a little more & there was a long greyish brown tail, upon recognising the scoundrel responsible for this late night disruption. I proceeded to demand it show itself, which it did by scurrying up the inside of the curtain & onto the ledge of the architrave at the top of the window. Where it sat for a minute or 2 I made eye contact looking for a hint of humour of inner hilarity rapture, I saw it that glint in its eyes. You rat. The only reason the curtain moved is because it was laughing hysterically I’m sure of it. I chased it round the kitchen for a bit asking the obvious, trying to make a coffee were we? in my house? one lump or two? you rat, till it disappeared behind the wall oven cupboard. I can hear its whole family laughing now.
Can you imagine a sleepy giraffe chasing a laughing rat around the house? Well there you have it no national disaster, just a rat trying to make a coffee.
How elegant are you finding your way around the kitchen trying to find a coffee making rat?
You see now all I can picture is a rat & a giraffe sitting at a café having a cuppa whilst the whisk & the bread board are dancing in the sink…….